Life Transitions- 2 Steps to Keep You Empowered Through Change

Life transitions- we all have them. Going from one set course in our lives to another. Sometimes, these transitions can be seen and prepared for like going from high school to college or to having a family. But sometimes, transitions can’t be predicted or they put you in a path so different that it takes time to adjust.

Yet, any transition  can be difficult. It is hard for us humans to let go of what we had, the familiarity, the predictability, and step into, for many, a whole new way of being. I think of it sometimes as stepping into a whole new world with new sets of rules and expectations that need to be learned.

But, learn you can and learning how to go with the flow, finding ways to go through transitions with ease and Grace, is a skill that can be cultivated, practiced and mastered.

There are many transitions we go through, divorce,  new relationships, empty nest, new job. As we get older, life doesn’t come with the many changes we experience constantly when we are younger and, I feel, we get out of the habit of going with the flow.

You may also view change as chaotic and disruptive because here, in the unknown, you have no sense of what is coming next which leaves you feeling insecure and out of control.

 

My biggest, and by far one of my most difficult transitions was when I left my 20 year marriage and was basically on my own for the first time in my life.

It took me many years to leave a situation I was not happy with. But, I held on because I was comfortable and secure-leaving would disrupt my life in ways that I just didn’t want to deal with.

But, I was lonely, depressed and living a life that, at its core, wasn’t fulfilling to me. I wanted more and finally decided there must be something more to life. I decided to make changes and take steps toward living the life my heart was calling me to lead.

Leaving my marriage, I moved into a 2 bedroom upper apartment in town which was a far cry from what I had been living in. No garage, no washer and dryer, no central air or dishwasher. Good gawd I had to go to the laundromat to do my laundry. I broke down in near tears the first time I had to go there and wondered what the hell I was doing?!

But, here is the secret. You can’t look back at what you lost. You need to look at what you have now and the many opportunities that lie ahead.

So I reminded myself what I had- freedom and happiness. Freedom to do whatever the hell I wanted. And happiness? Yes, because I wasn’t living in this constant anxiety and worry over my husbands behavior.

To remind myself what I did have, I wrote myself encouraging notes and placed them all over my apartment. The most energizing one was: I have the freedom to explore the world. What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Every morning, I would see these words and every morning it would give me a zap of uplifting energy. I would start thinking of the far out things I wanted to do. Things I couldn’t do when I was married but now, now that I was single, I was free to travel the world!

Transitions are never easy but having specific tools in place to help you get through them is key- you can get through anything!

Here are two things I did when going through the transition of being a married woman to being single.

1. Never look for things you are may be missing in your present life. Only look for the abundance and opportunities you have now.

Whenever I would start lamenting over some silly thing like not having an ice maker, I would immediately say, “Yes, but now I can enjoy my life and do what I want and go out and have fun and travel and meet new friends and, and and and…..”

You can prepare yourself by writing a list of all the amazing things that this opportunity or experience is giving you. Like, when I lived in Hawaii, I worked at a beauty supply store which really wasn’t the job of my dreams but I got to meet some pretty interesting people and made money and got to talk beauty products and and and.

I could dwell on the fact that I didn’t like my job and how crazy things were or look for all the good.

Then, and this is important, I would thank the Universe for this rock star life. Gratitude is another key element so express it often.

2. Write yourself empowering notes and place them everywhere- I mean everywhere! 

This is one of my favorite things to do because words have such power for me. They shift my mood immediately.

Some of the notes I wrote:

I am free to do whatever I want.
I am strong and confident.
I choose what’s right for me.
Where do I want to go?
What do I want to do?
The Universe is always guiding me.
Life is fun. I am full of joy.
I LOVE this life! And life loves me.

Use whatever words gets your mojo going.

I placed these in my bathroom, on my fridge, in my car, on my mirror in the bedroom. Wherever I would see them-the more the better. I would run into them and was like, “ Oh yeah, and and a surge of positive energy would run through my whole body!

Currently, I have this one up on my fridge:

 

 

 

I have notes in my car, on my computer at work, on my whiteboard at work-all the places I need to remind me that I’m awesome, strong, loved and well basically, a kick ass human being.

Your thoughts are a powerful force in your life and in the universe.  Practice this 2 step process now and have it ready for anytime you are going through a transition. It’s a powerful way to stay grounded, present and high vibing just when you need it most.

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